Cause I'll be standing next to you.

Wedding yet A G A I N.

2010-09-05T09:59:00.001-07:00

Well my sister (the older one) had another wedding in Hoeland. :p and yes of course it was amazing yet AGAIN. What can I say? She looked superbly amazing in whatever she was wearing which was a white tube dress with a lace overall. Me and eliqa wore a silver tube top with a fucking itchy overall. buh in the end we all looked so good. and it was worth the sucking in my stomach and not breathing properly. To be honest I didnt fit my jacket/overall. It was basically just to fucking tight and i was just to fucking fat. -.-

Buh in the end it all turned out amazing as usual. I ate like a fucking retard at the wedding. and then there was this fucking cute guy there his name was Cees. <3>

The desert menu was amazing. and of course Bob was just there all the time. serving me apfel saf which is apple juice and water to me and sulaika. Lol. it was a good day after all. <3

O'right bitches and whores out there in the world who actually read my shit.
imma go cuz this shit is just fucking pissing me off cuz i aint got nothing else to write about.

oh and btw, penises are like so amazing if they jizz in your pussy. ;) x

Beauty.

2010-07-09T11:19:00.000-07:00

Beauty. What is beauty to some people? To some , it might be the way they look. Or to some it might be the way they walk. Or what they wear. And of course to some, its by the products they have on their face's covering them like a mask you wear.

Beauty is something that everyone has within them. No matter what size or colour you are. Beauty is found in everyone. And of course to some, in everything. Even though I have only lived 13 years. I think I have seen what real beauty is. Beauty can be anything you wish it would be. For instance,

Beauty could be a sun just breaking out of a cloud in the sky and changes the appearence of what it once was ...just an ordinary blue sky.

Beauty is love, that you share with the only person you want to spend your whole life with.

Beauty is many different things, to many different people. Buh it doesn't matter because beauty is everywhere around you. :)

Hoeland / Wedding in Hoeland. :p AND being in London, England.

2010-07-06T13:54:00.001-07:00

Well, Yes. I was in Holland also known as Hoeland to me :). Basically for my sisters wedding. :D She looked like an angel (A). <3>

ON THE OTHER HAND.

Im in London, England. :D while my other sister is in Germany -_-. Anyways.. I dont care. Im basically having THE time of MY LIFE. and of course i am with my parents :). HAH. another bonuuusss for meeeee (A). Anyways, about London. Yes i have been on the train that runs underground. and yes I have been on that big red double bus thing. :D And yes, i did SHOP. :)

Come on people, its LONDON, and every where is having a SALE. how can no one shop?

Tomorrow im going to the famous and well known Oxford Street. :D (Y).

We are currently staying in Paddington, which is like a 10 min walk from the underground train :D. Sadly, im only here for 3 days and tomorrow is basically my LAST day.

Then its off to Hoeland. Again for another 2 days. Then, only then... Its back home. To Dubaaai <3

Well, thats basically ALL of i have to blog about. I hope my sister is safe, and I hope tomorrow shall be a good day to shop :P <3

Much loves homos :) <3

Giving up.

2010-06-24T07:33:00.000-07:00

Giving up is really not an option in life. Buh at this point of MY life, yeah I gotta say, Imma fucking give up on this girl. I just cant take this shit anymore. Shes not giving one shit about me... :/ so I guess I'm not really gonna do the same.

Plus, if you have read my other posts, I guess im just not that into her. Im no doormat, that can just be used and i cant wait for her forever. :/ I thought i could. because i really thought she was the one, buh in the end... its never right. no one shall ever be right for me :(

Life is something you make up on your own. yeah, maybe you do need some ppl. buh in the end, its what you have and what you have lost. you gain yet you loose. life is exactly like that. You gain friends yet you shall loose some in the end. people who stay are the ones worth fighting for.
I guess, i couldnt fight this battle of hers , i have bleed to much for her. and i know im not going to get her at the end of this war. cuz this is just not my battle to win. :/

Much loves. x

Difficult-ness. :/

2010-06-23T08:50:00.000-07:00

Gaah. Girls are difficult. Really difficult... Buh in this case, shes kinda like not..? I dont know. shes confusing me. its like i like her, buh then i dont. cuz shes not really doing or giving me anything. she texted me saying she was crying. i called her up and i listened. and oh how i wish i was with her... how i wish i could resolve everything... all her troubles.

buh in this case, i cant really do that can i? this sucks. i suck. i like like this girl to death and i shall do anything for her. buh then its all going wrong. why? I want her to see that i want her so bad. i want her to be mine. i want to show me that i can be her superman. i will take her hand and make sure she feels safe. i be anything she wants. i know shes the one for me.

Have you ever believed in love at first smile ? or laugh? yeah, thats who i felt. when she smiled , i know thats he was the one for me. the way she walks is so amazing. the way she laughs is cute. i find her amazingly cute. why cant she see that i can be her hero. i can be everything she needed.

Im puzzled. i want her, yet its so difficult to get her.. should i give up? or should i keep fighting this battle... ?

im stuck, i dont really know what to do.. can someone out there help me? gaah. she been on my mind like everyday...

Help me out here... :/

Much love biscuits. <3

Theres something up.

2010-06-17T11:35:00.000-07:00

I been thinking about this girl I once knew, we're close now... and i truly think i kinda like her. my minds going wild with the thoughts of her and me. I spent a day with her, and all i could think about was being with her. You see she has this smile that i just simply love. It drives me crazy because her smile can brighten up my day.
I told her how i felt and she really didnt give a response, i dont blame her... Come on how would you feel if some person of the same sex as you told you he/she likes you... i dont think its gonna be okay.. Shes into this guy, or kinda into this guy.. i dont know. she talks about him all the time. he's kinda okay. at least he makes her smile. Im happy about that.
Someone out there can make her smile.. she with me now. shes just so amazing, shes in my school, shes a lil older.. buh like what can i say.. Im just so deeply deeply in like with her. She makes me feel weird, she makes me fall for her by the second. I want her. I really do.
Buh at the same time, i cant have her. seems like she belongs to someone else. thats definitely not me. :/ Yeah its hard i guess, buh like i said, i been rejected more then i been accepted. I dont really mind. as long as she gets to smile, and i get to see her smile. Im okay with that.
Some times in life, you dont always get what you want. buh you will always see what you have dreamed about. and i have dreamed about her shining and smiling away. and right now, thats what shes doing. shes shining like a star and shes smiling like a princess.. :) <3
I gotta say, shes amazing... she one of a kind. and i guess I kinda like her. she makes me want her. she does things that dont make sense. i dont make sense... shes different.
Shes just my type. :)

Much love betches. or as she says Biscuits. ;)

Finals..

2010-05-01T06:56:00.001-07:00

Yeah well, finals are close :S

Imma be working/studying my ass off.

They say its gonna be a SAT paper.. so im pretty nervous..

I kinda have to study.. dont really want too, buh in the end i dont really even have a fucking choice.

Studying will get you where you want to go. and right now, i want to get good grades and pass this shit...

Things just been going hay wire in school, Im having this HUGE major fight with my best friend, and like its really bothering me.. cuz you know, she in my class, i see her 24/7... everyday in that same place where she sits..

i hate my class teacher.. i think she just loves picking on me and some of my other class mates.. she seriously has a fucking problem she needs to fix..

there are times where i really just would like to punch her in the nose and like knock her lights out.

Buh sadly i cant do that... :/ been having shit loads of stuff to do, at home&school.

Have millions of projects and of course the concert which is coming up. and how im prefect and i have to do so many things.

oh and i never got the chance to tell you this, buh my so called " nice class teacher " got me resigned from my ORIGINAL post as prefect.. she complained.. and i guess i had no say in it what so fucking ever..

So yeah, i guess you could say i was kinda pissed when i found out.. :/ :(

Anyways...

imam update when i can.. or want too. <3

Cause This Girl Got Me Thinkin'...

2010-05-01T06:38:00.000-07:00

Feel in love with a girl, she got me goin' crazy..

what should I do with her? Confront her with my feelings... ?

What if she runs away? What if it all goes wrong...?

What do I do then? Will I ever see her again?

Girl, you gotta understand. That you making my mind go round&round.

I can't barely think when im talkin' to you.

Im scared of the things i've ever said to you.

What if you leave me? And then what happens to this heart of mine?

girl, you gotta understand... i'll wait forever until your mine. <3

Just understand, that im no playa, i'd stay beside yah..

Even at your worst. Call me straight up, even in the morning..

I'll listen to everything, cause babeh, you mean everything.

You don't need to hide things away from me. I'll understand, if i don't..

i'll tell you straight up so you can explain while i listen to your voice as it enters my brain.

You need to know, that your amazing.. What should I do?

Make my move? or watch you shine?

Girl, i love you. <3

What can I say . . .

2010-03-24T11:19:00.001-07:00

Mozza and me arent okay. We had this major bitchy fight. And well, lets just say we're not okay. Buh we talk. . . Sometimes.
His birthday was a week ago. Tried to call, didnt pick up. Guess he knew who i was :/. I didnt feel like crap. Though i did. Buh i didnt at the same time. Its just screwed up.
Its like loving a thing that will never talk to you, and love you back. Its like loving a paper doll :/. TBH, its crappy, hes crappy. Hes shit. Hes nothing compared to the other people that have effected my life. hes the crappiest shit alive. And yet, deep down inside, i care for him.
I care for a crappy and shitty thing. That once made my life so beautiful with all his perfect lies. So perfect, that not even I could see that he was such a good lier.
Hes made my life like crap. So now, theres no point in even having him in it. buh, in the end. . .it will all work out fine. I hope :/
Enough of all the crappy and shitty talk about him and me and her , just enough of them. . .
Things in school, have been okay. Studies are okay, gonna get my results soon. All i can say is taht i got a C in math :/ :( Buh it okay. i will and i shall inprove. :D. that im so positive about (; .
Anyways, everything seems to be okay. Gonna go now. Waiting for eliqa to come back so she can print this thing for me (: x

Much loves bizothes x <3

Havent gotten much time.

2010-01-26T04:22:00.000-08:00

Well the heading is a lie. Its just that i havent bothered to post anything really. Anyways on with stuff...

New years :

Im guessing you all got drunk and probably dont remember what you did for it. Buh mine was really enjoyable. I spent my new years in Austria with family :) <3.>

So i had fun , oh yeah... LOTS of it. hahha. there was a guy involved. his name was Alex. well that what i think his name was.. HAHA. and he was 16 & he had braces and he was like extremely cute. i got a thing for cute guys what to do ;) x. & well we had fun. he was drunk and we kissed. and well yeah. It was a new years kiss.. so guys back from malaysia who read this.. know that it was just a NEW YEARS KISS :D x

What else ? Oh yeah .. school.

School has been so far so good. New term new shizz. its the same every where around the world.
Oh and birthday coming up. in like 2 days <3 style="color: rgb(102, 0, 204);">Got my present from My two B E A U T I F U L sistas ;) <3 style="color: rgb(102, 0, 204);">* Skullcandy headphones & The new Ed Hardy perfume.

What to do... Im spoiled ;) x
To those out there who thing im bragging ... IM NOT. im just saying what i got. and to the haters Fook you :D x

Live life till you cant live no more. buh have your limits and understand the rules and OBEY people OBEY them. Even if i break the rules xD <3

Everything went wrong, and your still on my mind :/

2009-12-12T05:18:00.000-08:00

I cant believe you can just walk away while i was talking to you. You have hurt me so many times and made me cry so many times, buh just this once that i said something that hurt you, you just fucking walk away. And tell me that you never want to see me ever again and you never want to talk to me.
You say it as though its so easy for you to just forget me, like im nothing at all. I hate the way you walk, the way you talk, the way you stand, the way you look at me, the way you smoke, the way you breathe. I hate everything about you buh yet i cant forget you.
Your always on my mind since that first day we met, since that first hug, Gawd your killing me hour by hour and you still dont notice it. You just live on by not knowing that your killing me every step on the way.
I have been on this path for over a year. And its always the same story, You will always be in a circle and that circle will NEVER BREAK unless i want it too. And i do want it too, buh it never possible, Cus you'll always be in my mind&heart.

I have memorized your
- Scent
- Smile
- Touch
- Kiss
- Love.
My body, My soul .. Has memorized YOU <3

Its all about you hurting me. Napy boy.

Assessments... O.O

2009-11-07T11:05:00.000-08:00

Well my assessments are coming up. And yes, i am nervous about what im gonna get for my results.. Mom and Dad says i HAVE got to get good results... PANICKING HERE !
Argh.
Anywaaays, well.. the whole thing that happened with HIM. is over :( He said no, and well yeah.. Im still hurt yes. buh not THAT much anymore.. He told me what i needed to hear. He was truthful and i understood him.buh understanding him doesnt mean that im just accepting the fact that fast.. Im slowly healing :) Thank god.
I have been through a lot of shit this past couple of month. Yes im fine :0. Nikki , Aqilah & Young have been helping me to forget what has happened and has been trying to make me move on :).
I owe my life to young, for everthing he has ever done for me and to me :) Me and him are forever family... <3>
1 year
5 months
and several days..
and counting :D <3

xx much love guys xx <3
Elli x

HAHA.

2009-10-23T04:18:00.000-07:00

To all of you who THINK i am lesbian.
DONT.
cus im NOT.

Just cus' in the past post i said that i liked girls. DOESNT mean that i am FUCKIN' lesbian. Okay??
Anywhos.. Im getting a new phone.. And its the Nokia N97 <3.>

Nim - I love you x <3
Oh, and to those who dont know nim.
He is this awesome guy who is my friend <3
and i love him to bits :D

Random is Awesome :D

2009-09-15T05:29:00.000-07:00

Well, just a short brief of whats been happening this past * thinks * month :D

* School starting.
* Mozza and me are fine.
* Mozza and Napy broke up.
* Mozza and Napy got back together.
* Me crying a lot lately.
* Young being single.
* Rash and Me not being so 'close' anymore.

Showers :D
Dont you think showers are like so AWESOME. I think they are, And i bet some people out there sure think they are too :) SHOOWWEERRRSS <3.>
The guy i like :]
Anywaays, i think i like my best friend who's named * toot * , I dont think its a wise idea to write his name .. Cus im positive that one day i will show him this blog and he will be all like ' Omg, she liked me '. So you get my point why im not gonna say his name :). Anywaays, yeah about him, He is reaalllyy sweet and he always knows how to brighten up my day and put a smile on my face :), He is just so wonderful :) <3

Me and Arif are no more :/.
Just a rough recap ...
Me and him knew each other for a long time, Buh we never thought that anything could happen. So like , one day i was like.. why dont you come to marina.. and he is like , oh im already here. So we met up and well i couldnt keep my hands off him. You know me. * blushes* ... Anyways.. so yeah, then we thought hey why dont we have a lil bit of fun.. and so we did. Buh while we were having fun, i kinda fell for him ... and i thought we had something special till he texted me one day saying ' hey, i dont think we can be friends anymore, Your too young and im too old. Bye and sorry ' I know right. So all i said back was ' Yeah i understand, nice knowing you xxx bye '. I just wanted to keep it clean you know.

Much love xx elli

I was the Mistake is your life.. And im sorry.

2009-09-01T13:12:00.000-07:00

Well im writing again.. So this time meaning you have been really lucky. Well this post is gonna be about sadness and betrayal .. Well not that someone did betray me. Its that i betray my own sister. You see she likes this guy name *toot* and well they had a thing going on right. So like one day, she brought him over and well things started happening in the room. I kinda kissed him on his lips?
I bet your probably wondering WHY THE FUCK would you do that by now. Well i'll tell you why.. Becus YES i did kinda of like him in a way,that YES i would kiss him, And he happen to be there in my room with me. And i tell you i cant control myself when i want to kiss a person. So it happens to be that YES i did kiss him.
I did watever i could to say sorry to eliqa, to mean it to her. And all she could say was that ' its ok, i dont really care &watever elli '. Its not that i dont blame her buh still, I was saying sorry and i was about to kill myself. YES i was on the verge of SUICIDE, buh i didnt do it cus i had to think about my family and my friends and well.. Since i am muslim and all, If i do kill myself [ which wont happen] i shall go directly to hell.
This is not a very interesting thing to write buh i had to becus i wanted everyone [ ho read's this ] taht i am sorry and that i know i did wrong. I love my sister to death and i couldnt bare look at her when we talked in the room, As if i could feel her pain all by itself. I wanted to take that blade and plundge it into my wrist and just dont give a shit about the sheets if the blood will stain or my mothers expression if she see's me lying there soaked in blood.
I didnt care anymore, i was about to do it. Buh i thought of my family and friends. And it hit me , that YES we do mistakes in life that WILL hurt the person you love and YES we do , do things taht we will regret. This has no reason for me to kill myself i thought. I did hurt her and i do have to live with myself for it. Buh its no reason to KILL myself. So seriously, then i put the blade to my leg and i started cutting there. I was pissed with myself becus i should cut somewhere else buh its ok.
It was big the cut i mean, its big... i cut myself 24 times. Now i have the total of 164 cuts all over me :/. I know its not something to be proud of buh still. Just thought of writing this down to the readers. Note, If you think your life is over , think again ;), And if you think your life is in ruins.. think about the ppl that are worse then you, what would they do ? They would live on and remove the past. No matter how hard or painfull it is.. You just have to move on.

Much love xx Elli <3

Its been Long :/

2009-08-30T11:01:00.000-07:00

Yeah well , I know its been Bout a really loong time since i last wrote :/. Well i have been busy you know, and well i kinda forgot that i had a blogger :P. Buh not to worries im writing here again, Just i think one more post before i think i will stop blogging. Not forever tho, just for a lil while till i can remember or whats interesting in my life to blog about:).

Its been pretty boring actually, Summer is almost over and i had loads of fun/misery in the past 3 months :/. Nothing to shout about buh yeah. If your wondering what had coused me to say MISERY then, here's what happen ->

* I got together with this awesome most sweetest guy, Buh in the end i broke it off with him. Becus i just cant stand being with one guy.. Its like a sickness, Really.
* I think im in love with my best friend and yet its killing me. Really :/ Feel like im gonna pass out cus of this pain :/

* I miss most of my friends and well yeah So on and so forth :P

* My ex - hamood , Has been a total jerk since the past time he got together with my best friend.

And well yeah, he hasn't changed a bit, NOT one bit. And im shocked to believe that i actually loved him once upon a time ago.

* You remember princess right. Well yeah, me and her fell apart and its not the same no more. I had to delete the past post about her cus she asked me too? And told me not to post the pictures and try to blackmail her.. Well its really rather daft To think that i would blackmail her.

How the fuck can i blackmail her? I ask myself that.

Well yeah, its been kinda heck-tic too. Buh watever, Young has been there for me since the past 10 months we have been friends. God i love him to death :) <3.> I do not know how im going to tell him no wait.. Maybe i dont have too. Just hide my feelings for him inside of me. Knowing that he will definately change once i've told him. So i'll just keep to myself. OMG wat a great idea :D.

Anyways, If i do tend to write again. Then your lucky :). Buh if i dont.. It either

I ->

* died
* is lazy
* dont bother anymore with this site
OR
i just dont find anything interesting to write in a post for you to read :D.

Much love xx elli <3

Has Anyone Ever Told You ...

2009-06-03T06:39:00.000-07:00

That they wont stop loving you ?
That they will always love you.
That they love you so fucking much !

There all just fucking lies ... Well some of them at least .

Of course you remember Nappy yeah ... My former ex boyfriend. Well he is dating my best friend ( mozza ) when he told me he likes being single which was total bullshit ! And as a good friend i let him go and i had to becus he doesn't love me anymore like he said he did ...

Can you imagine the fucking frustration i went through ..?

I'll tell you.. i cried and im still crying till now this fucking date [ 3rd June 20o9 ] . I cut myself 10 times to stop the pain... And i put all my loved ones to EXTREME WORRY ... becus i told them i might kill myself . Yeah so thats wat Nappy did to me ... wat hurts the most was that when he told me HE LOVED ME i tot he ment it but after a coupla days he just said I WAS HIS BEST FRIEND.

So if you do want some advice ...

Don't always trust wat everyone tells you ... Cus you might never know when they'll just turn back and stab you with a knife and leave you there bleeding sencesly ... All the best for who ever who reads this shit i just wrote ..

xoxo, Elli... <3

Its Been A Long Time I know...

2009-03-17T10:46:00.000-07:00

Its Just How Life Changes Bitch xp

Friends changed and i changed and well everything was falling apart in my life. Like how mich i want to say im good but having that feeling after that im not good. I miss the old times i had with friends and how i miss the laughs i use to laugh with them.
This year has not only changed me it has to everyone else, how i wish it was last year how everything was normal and fun . Now its all about who is dating who and who likes this guy which i like and all that. I miss my old friends i miss my old life.. I've changed soo much that i forgot bout wat i need in life, i kept on following wat my friends needed. Cous to me they were the ones that mattered most.
I made new friends and lost some.. Like now i know who are my real friends, they will always stick by you till the end no mater wht shit you do and did. I thought this friend of mine would be my friend forever and ever like we promised each other but as i see it .. No one ever can keep a promise that everyone knows thay cant keep.
I dont want to changed wat has been done because now i know who are my real friends and they stuck on me with all their love just for me and i felt to special. I love the feeling of how i have friends to take care of me and how they care and love me. I would never ask for anything more then wat i have now.
Friends show the true meaning of love and trust me it will hurt im not lying and it will someday break but friends will forgive one another no matter how bad that shit was. I use to think that i was alone but now as i see it im not i have friends to help me, protect me , and love me. Till the day i die and till the day thay die i would and they would always love me.
Now thats wat true friends are for, wen your in trouble they would help with that problem and try even if it doesnt work out they will try to help.. And if that didnt work out they will try harder, friends will be there wen you call just to say hi and friends are thre wen you need a shoulder to cry. Thats why im lucky to have the bestest friends ever in the world.

Dont ask me bout the girl but its the GUY in the pick that's my closey friend.
Name : Rash

Aww This is One of the most sweetest and nices guy ever in my friendship list!
Name : Young Love

Good friend kinda funy can make me laugh!
Name : T.J

No one could ever find a better friend.. He has and tried to help me soo much! I am soo thankful to have this guy as my friend!
Name : PANCAKEZ!

Its A New Year ... Its A New Life!

2009-01-22T03:23:00.001-08:00

Well this NEW YEAR went extremely awesome...No words could explain how awesome this year has been except from the word awesome itself :). I have fallen in love again,and again XD. I made out wif my bestfriend whos like a brother to me, I made out wif a total random dude meet him once and made out in a pool. Now tht was extremely AWESOME! Lolly! :D
I found out tht i actually like girls to in my 11 years...Just found out bout last year since this is already 2009! Hahaha... I found out that im in love wid my best friend sayat.. Which is extremely weird XD! i like my own brother which is more then weird.. AND i got a new phone for my birthday which is in 6 more days.
Schools the same old fucking self.. it hasent changed a bit except for my bus which sucks! I made new friends and enimies in the past 22 days of this new year. I find it hard to believe that i dated a 17 year old and he was iranian.. lolly! Well it only lasted for like 9 days lolly! Did i ever tell you that the longest rel. i had was 1 month 1 week 2 days and bla bla bla.... Weird tht i cant even remember the 2 days and shit like tht... :D
Did i tell you on the same day as i kissed my brother/bestfriend i swam in my bra from lazenza and i got naked in front of 3 guys and i was super making out with a guy... on the floor next to my door...which i must say he was a preety good kisser no make that an awesome kisser...while tht all happend my babe and her partner got a lil *ahem ahem on my bed... but no sex! lolly!

XoXo Baby Renatta XoXo

JUMIERAH BEACH PARK,Gate 1...Where things CAN happen...!

2008-12-05T11:33:00.000-08:00

I think I've LOST who i am...

I don't knw this girl no more...

I can say my heart has been mend but its sure not broken...I don't knw wat it is its like its BLEEDING! It doesn't hurt but i feel as if my life is just no worth living...

This guys is named Mohsen,He just turned 14 on the 4th of this month.I cant believe this guy is soo sweet! He is just the awesomest guy ever...I think imma ask him out. We made out today at JUMIERAH BEACH PARK,Gate 1.It was his first kiss/made-out it aint mine you knw its just soo fucking fucked up! He was touching me n like feelin me n it was just just i cant explain it!
It was as if we were together as if i was bout to have sex wif him,Well he liked it i liked it! He's single im single this is fucking fucked up! I want to be with him but i guess its just not gonna happen until today.Today 5th of December imma ask him out! imma ask if he wants to be my bf.Well he likes me n i like him so you knw wtf I'll just go for it...XD

XoXo Devil Baby XoXo

Me and Hamood...Broke up : (

2008-12-01T11:40:00.000-08:00

Well i saw it comin i guess...It was i guess all my fault. Cous i kissed a guy twice by ACCIDENT! it wasn't on purpose. I thought of it but i guess he beat me to it.He told me tht he is just to old for me n he thinks wat we're doing it wrong. I guess you could say tht!

I never wanted it but i guess we had to. It was by choise it was by fate...I still love him in a way so does he.Which i guess is good right..? Eliqa found out she want mad at me she was just scared n worried wht her 11 year old sister got into.But all turned out good i guess...I still cry here n there cous i love him but we cant be togethere which sux likes hell!

Me and him are apart yes...But we're best friends! I still have his old msg's in my inbox i look at them once a while...He tells me he cant love another cous he never wants to forget my love...I rlly want to be with him but i guess i cant mayb wen imma lil older then mayb theres a chance...Even tho we r apart imma still be ... His lil secret make-out bitch..XD!

I still have feelings towords him so does he have towords me...I guess its hard to forget the one you rlly love...Eliqa says its not love its sumtin else.But i guess i call it love cous he loves me n i love him...He cares more bout me then himself..I wonder why?

Im falling for a totally different guy now..you remember hanz ryteee...? Well thts the guy now but i cant like him cous he has a girlfriend(reabueanne) i think thts how to spell her name...? i cant say i like her cous i dont..i dont like her! im jealous of her! cous she got the one i fell inlove with first! ARGHHHH!

Well i'll tell you more updates S'laters...=D

XoXo Baby Renatta XoXo

Ok...Last post was bout sayat...This post is bout Princess!XD

2008-11-20T13:20:00.001-08:00

Me and Princess WILDEST at timez! XD

I LOVE HER TO DEATH MAN! btw nice pic Lol!

Well..As the title says again this post is bout princess..One other of my bestie best pals! Lets see how we met each other....

I think i met her by friends n stuff like tht...She just rox as the same as sayat! I tell her everything she is my lil diary...XD! She is just sooo helpfull in everything i need...I CRY,get NAKED & be WILD wif her! She is my everything just like sayat...= ]

We are bestie best pals...We LOVE each other,We UNDERSTAND each other, We CARE for each other! What can i say we're like paper n pen...Lol! She is the person i can like get WILD wif,The type of persoon tht sees me for who i am! I dont have to pretend in front of her..= D

She is sooo nice n super friendly! Wen im down i'll always tell myself im ugly n not preety n fat..And she will be there telling me tht some ppl would die to get my looks...And in a snap i get super happy!

She is sooo BEAUTIFUL! plus she says im cute.. :D

Thnx again if you looked at this....=D
Comment will yah...

And again thnx..=D

XoXo ANGEL BABY XoXo

I think this post is about one of my BESTIES BEST FRIEND...Named Sayat! XD

2008-11-16T10:13:00.000-08:00

BESTIE BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!<3

We're sexy..! And we knw it! LOL! XD

Well as the title says this is about one of my bestie best pals...Sayat! She is such a great friend rlly...I love her to death! Wen i first came here i was soo afraid i wont find any friends but then sayat came into my life ok this is like sounding she is my lover! Eww! Lol!

She just how makes life soo fun...Lets say a day wifout her in school SUCKS like hell! Love goin out wif her if i dont have her i dont have anyone else...She just rocks! She lives near me which is soo awesome cous like if i need help or needs a shoulder to cry on..I call her up go to her house stay there till like rlly late n cry cry cry...=D

Well wat can you expect i would do the same for her..I love her! its wat friends do...She is just the best i couldn't explain anymore bout her...=D She is just such a wonderful friend i think if i didt have her i would prolly die in dubai! LOL! XD

We do love bears...LOL!

I LOVE YOU SAYAT!

AS BESTIE BEST FRIENDS!

T.c and thnx for looking at this post if you do look at it..XD

Comment will yah...?

THNX AGAIN!

XoXo ANGEL BABY XoXo

Urmmm... Long time huh...=(

2008-11-11T03:40:00.000-08:00

Love is Pain...
Would you ever think of it in tht way?

Him,Me & Him...

Hmmm Long time yes...

Well since i was away all this time i kinda fell for a guy...Turns out tht guy likes me to...How surprisingly wonderful ain't it! He is a lil old for meh..but tht doesn't matter he confessed his love to meh..(how sweet rlly)! I was rlly flattered but i didt knw wat to do...Then he asked me out this was a lil prob! I told him i'll think bout it...But at the end i did go out wif him..It was rlly nice after some time we got together i still remember the date!For got to tell yah...He is urmm 15=S... i knw he sounds way older but age doesn't rlly matter right..Plus he is just sooo sweet!

21st of October 2008...Tuesday =p *HIM = ]
Urmmm lets see...My mum n dad had their 18th anniversary..How sweet! Urmmm soo as eliqa n ammar<3>

How do i say this...

I found the most awesome friends in dubai...

I'll name some or most..=p

*Sayat

Princess

*Hanz

Anmol

*Shemshat

Ali

*Nikita

More n more .... XD

Bestie best friends !

Bestie best friend!

Bestie best friends!

Weird!

2008-10-16T04:11:00.000-07:00

Aint it weird wen you DON'T want tht person to knw u like them...

But then in the end they knw tht y like them!

I like this guy and i rlly didt want him to knw!

But then he found out and he started treating me diff!!

I hate guys like tht,They just F***KIN piss me off!

They just change just becouse u like them like WTF mn!!

Is there just something wrong with me tht you dont like or sumthing?

Cus i feel tht you do like me to but ur like scared or embarresed to be with me?

Is it my size?Or is it just tht you have a problem with me?

Am i rlly tht UGLY ??? Tell me whts wrong wif me..Manyb i can change...

YOU KNW WAT I AINT GONNA CHANGE JUST COUS YOU THINK IM INPERFECT! SO YOU CAN JUST SCREW YOURSELF THEN!!!!!

Hmmm wht to write i was bored and like damn bored summore thts y i wrote this!!!

LOL well i guess i'll update on u latez!!!

byez!!!!

<3<3<3

I love you both!!!!!!!!!<3

LOL!

Damn Falling Again...This time Between Two Guys!! Arghhh!!!!!

2008-10-10T14:26:00.001-07:00

Haha ok this is Khaled!!! A guy i just meet today and i fell for him..<3
Ok this is Hanz (left) and Khaled (right) the two guys i think im falling for!!!<3
This was the only pic of Hanz which was wif me...<3

Omg!! Im falling Again why...?

I think im falling for Hanz yet i im falling for Khaled... I knew Hanz longer and i just meet Khaled today...But he is like soo sweet and Hanz doesnt like me so does Khaled..But there sumthing bout Khaled i love...

Omg i wanna date Khaled soo much but im scared to ask him out im 1.Shy 2.Scared he will reject me='(... Plus i gave Hanz his first kiss...Arghhh!!!

I told Khaled i liked him and he said he knew from the first second i saw him...And i didt tell Hanz yet DAMN!!!! Khaled knws but Hanz doesnt!!!!

Mayb Khaled might go out wif me..But i dont wanna ask him sooo soon..We just meet..= ]

Well i'll update laterz or sumffin..

Ciow!!!muaxxxx <3

XXXX BabyBoo XXXX

Haha...Webcaming Wif Ma M8 HANZ!!!

2008-10-01T07:05:00.000-07:00

Haha confused again...<3

We are sooooooo Happy!!!!!= D
Awww..Dont we look soo cute..<3
Showing a bad finger huh...???
Confused weither to like him or just be friends..XD
Haha the ff friends..Fuck finger friends..LOL

Peace and love man...!!!!<3
Me being soo cute... And hanz being adorable!!!
Haha me thingking???(Mayb bout macho man..) L0L
Macho man and Macho woman???
Haha..My hair looks wicked!!

Haha he closed his eues...T_T<3 href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_bssmubkCqps/SOOE3uIEERI/AAAAAAAAAZs/LEmN-2HsfhQ/s1600-h/IMG_2852.JPG"> Why do i have such a huge smile on my face???
Haha i waz kissing hanz..And liked it tht's why he smiled..= ]

Love <3>& Peace <3 man...!!!

Well im officially obsessed!!!

2008-09-17T06:36:00.000-07:00

Omg i am like seriously obsessed of charlie...

Its like sooo damn crazy

I just cant get him outta my head its like sooo damn hard to concentrait wif him on my mind 24-7!!!!

But should i still like him he is all the way in china now...

I bet he found some hot chinese b**** and 4gotten all bout me...HUH

He is like forever wif me i cant get him outta my mind man..

What should i do...????

I am in love with him even more now i do not knw why...

Its soo damn crazy even my best friend says em crazy...

I think im crazy im crazy over charlie i love him alot and he knw's it..

I LOVE YOU CHARLIE JAMES<3

AND EM NOT EVEN ASHAMED TO SAY IT OR EVEN SCREAM IT OUT LOUD

Omg he is leaving on the 16th...

2008-09-05T10:22:00.001-07:00

Omg!!!

My best friend charlie is leaving sooo soon!!!

gonna mis him like crazy ppl...

i knw there will always be internet...

but im gonna miss him sooo much...

well he slept over ma house yesturday...it was soo funny he feel asleep at like 3 am and like i feel asleep at like 6 am...

and i was bored for 30 minutes and i stared up atthe ceiling yea...

so then im was like sooo damn bored so i stared at him fro lik 15 mins untill i feel asleep lol...

it was funny actually...cuz he kept on like doin sumthing with his mouth and it was like rlly funny so like i feel alseep at like 6:30 am actaully...LOL

well we watches like a movie together and like we played a lil bit of games...i told him all ma secrets...LOL

and u knw wat...even tho i love him and he doesnt love me its rlly hurtfull to me yes..but atcually he doesnt rlly needa tell me he loves me or like ask me out...

i knw he does and he cares for me to..but he just doesnt rlly show it much tho..well wat can u expect he is a guy lol....well thts love for me from him..<3

Never Expected This...

2008-08-29T10:58:00.000-07:00

I never expected tht wen i go to malaysia my enemy would be my friend i tell everything to...

Never thought u would like a GUY so much yet not rlly even knw him...

Never thought my sis would fall in love her crush from scholl...Haha

But i never thought liking tht GUY would lead me in more pain...

Never thought tht my bestest friend was leaving to china...

Life is weird and wonderful in a way...

Tht no one can explain to anyone...

Love is even more weirder...Haha...

Picz Of Jassooomii=D

2008-08-17T03:05:00.000-07:00

Me and Sayat my other friend call this pic 'The Ironman Pic'...=]

Rapper style....

He looks cute and cool here...=D
This is Jassoomii doin a nad-stand..= ]

This is jassoomii...He is 15! and he is frm paki..LOL=D

He is rlly sweet.. i wrote bout him a few months bac mayb lik 3-4 months bac but here is some pics of him how he looks lik..

I find him kinda cute in a way! i guess dia boleh tahanla...

Bukan macam supermodel lol!!!

=DD

He is a rlly nice guy and you might think he is gay..I thought he was gay...l0l But he is a rlly sweet guy and you can share all your secrets wif him he can rlly kept them...

Plus he is such a playboy... Like serious he doesnt like to have a girl but he did but they broke-up...And he was hurt so i helped him in a way...you knw helping him a lil there and a lil here..

Plus to tell you the truth i actually liked him and i told him and he told me not to...I tried not to cry but i did...I do not knw why..?? I guess b'cuz he hurt me a lil...But i turned ok after a while...

But i guess that's called love haha...but im not in love wif him and well i like it that way...I dont rlly wanna be wif him...<3

i never felt this way before...

2008-08-12T06:21:00.000-07:00

Hmmm never felt this way cuz i never been sad about a person so badly!

It's lik he is leaving me forever and i cant stand that.... i feel so lost withoyt him i feel lik... lik im never gonna recover from wat he did to me...lik im always gonna be empty bcuz of wat he took from me...!

The weirdest thing is that i love him... i love him to much just to let him go!That is something i cant explain not even to myself its something that in me that i feel so scared to tell ppl...

Well mayb he will happy wen he is there..but wat bout me will i be happy...?

haha FINALZ!!!

2008-06-02T02:56:00.001-07:00

see the different betwn GUYZ & GURLZ.......

haha 4r me & ma gurlz......
i LURV him so much!!!!!!!
Totally true emo party

Here r sum picz juz 4r fun......^_^

Hey i hav ma finalz now...... i noe then after 3 days its freedom!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY n after that its comin home to m'sia.. i cant wait!!!!!!!

2008-05-30T12:18:00.000-07:00

awwwwww i LUV dis pic..... he is so BLUSHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dis pic he looks smart!!!!!!! haha which he is NOT!!!!!
i dunnoe but it looks lik he is tryin to get away 4rm me??????
AWWW... i lik dis pic!!!!!!
haha he tryin to ask & look DRUNK!!!!!!!!

Here r sum pic of charlie!!!!!!!!!!!

lik why me....

2008-05-19T10:44:00.000-07:00

Hey lik my life has been the best.. i found sum1 he is rlly nice n sweet... meet him at "THE WINCHESTER SCHOOL"...

Boleh tahanla cute u can say.... ummm his name is charlie.... nice name tu pun so lik he is lik 14 dis year ummm the onli prob is that he lik ma best fren WEIRD!!! totolly a nightmare & he is wif dis gurl her name is nigar which sound lik niger & cigar... haha lOoLzZ ^_^!!!!

Then there is dis other guy baby j(jassoomii) boleh tahan jugakla... pun comel... he is 15 nice n sweet juz lik baby c(charlie)....meet him on "FACEBOOK" weird kan.... lik totally!!!!

so lik i'll write more if i hav sumthin up... ohh yea sum1 ask me to be his gurl... accept or decline????? i dunnoe???^_^?

ThIs Is So SwEeT!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-04-06T13:45:00.001-07:00

P.S I GOT DIS SHIT FROM DA NET.....

AIN'T DIS SHIT SO SWEET I GOT DIS SHIT FROM HI5......

P.S SOME OF DES PICS R PON&ZI I LOVE THEM BOTH MUAXXXXXXXX

ELLI TENATTA A.K.A CUTIEPIEBABY

KINGDOM HEARTS ( pics of sora )

2008-04-03T16:18:00.000-07:00

i lik kinda drew dis shit rite here...!!!!

i LUV KINGDOM HEARTS!!!!!!

( pics of sora ) some i drew some from internet....

next semester!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-04-02T08:44:00.000-07:00

Hey guess wat im gonna start another SEMESTER...

well its fun for me i guess now i'll be in da real grade state GRADE 5 (standart 5)...

so jz wanna say that n well i missed my super best frens buffday: (

i so miss being bac home wif fren i've none for 3-4 years (hahahahahaha) IM ONLY ELEVEN!!!!

pon & zi...

2008-03-28T03:03:00.000-07:00

p.s i wish i was with some1 that will care for me i wish some1 would love me...

awww ... they r huging....

this is so true yet it's so sweet of him...

this is so sweet ...

it said"come closer heard that i said i love you!"

i love them they r lik so sweet together...

first outing WIF FRENZ...

2008-03-15T02:07:00.000-07:00

hey yesterday i jz had a first outing wif frenz from dubai!!!!! well jz wanna say dat not much to say n b'4 i 4get i jz finish my first week of skool in dubai...

well dat it dat all i wanna say bye...

don be afraid to go for your dreamz...

2008-03-11T06:06:00.000-07:00

always look up never look down on urself or others

she is so preety!!!! i luv dis pic i drew lol!!!!

ain't i a gud artist...
don you think im gud in drawing lol

so don be afraid to go for your dreamz love n live your life... if u want to tell your crush u love him or her tell b'fore its to late...

ok that s was sumthin i got from sum1 here da real thin ok so like i started skool (YAY)
lk watever its so cool u noe so lk da skools name is WINCHESTER i noe so lk american but its not n it realli cool u noe da teachers dare r lk realli sweet (SUMTIMES) but its cool so lk now we hav got dis realli cool laptop its not mine it me n iqas well nvm ... : )

GEUSS WAT...!!!

2008-03-05T09:06:00.000-08:00

geuss wat im gonna go to skool yay
an internatiol skool wif all da hot guys lol

well im starting skool on sunday [ y? sunday] coz sunday is ther monday

i am so xited i think i will love this skool

well if u wanna ask me anything coment me on freindster k...

beautiful kan....

2008-03-05T08:47:00.000-08:00

cantik can well u can find this id dubai [da place i am living in dude's] ohh ya n da place were i took dis was at DUBAI FESTIVAL CITY YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

about me on9...

2008-02-20T05:47:00.000-08:00

so ok the title is about me on9...

so i realli wanna go on9 but wen i do there is no one to chat wif me...

1 its that they r bz

2 they juz do not wanna chat wif me for ther reason

so like im on9 and then nobody wanna chat wif me so im like ahh no1 wanna chat wif me so at least wen i say sometin like fine ur bz watever u juz don go and say ok bye!!!! at least say ur sorry or wat can i do to help but no u dont u juz say bye tata

so juz wanna say that luvs to all muaxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

happy valentine's day...

2008-02-16T02:46:00.000-08:00

hey guy's at home malaysia happy valentine's day to all my fren's...

i will so love if i can send u an e-mail but this f**kin pc it wacked up ...
so juz to say happy valentine's day to my bud's at home!!!!!!!!!!!

oh ya and ir u find a forget me not flower it mean don 4get me!!!! hee hee hee

jk jk jk jk jk

hey i am here in dubai already....

2008-02-14T04:10:00.000-08:00

hey,

well great i am here in dubai wow but not aczactly i miss my frens and my i call u for 3 bucks but here its like 5 bucks i am not saying i hate this place but its ok...

so great school starts in september and i got alot of time off weeepeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but its ok i got a front veiw pool and i got an acces card to 3 pool and a gym so this is the life totaly the rich and fabulosso life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A sToRy AbOuT mE...

2008-01-18T09:22:00.000-08:00

Still dont understand me? im a difficult puzzle to solve!!!!

Sumtime's u can't control u'r emotions !!!

the story:

Why ? why do i always see u cry?

Is it coz u r leaving ur best buds behind,

You! you never listen, you can never understand me nobody can,i feel so lonely sometimes....

Am i so different from all of u am i?? i cant show my insides coz ppl will usually say im to young ... i wanna cry but i cant im scared they wont accept me like i said Am i different??

u may say im so happy on da outside but in da inside im bleeding so hard.

i cry to songs, but i never cry in front of my family ... i will never do that!!!! (why coz u never want a deeper cut then the cut u hav...)

im not the one who ask advice i will never do that...no one..

i'm a half person,

A BROKEN HEART I HAV IN ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

funny animal pics!!!!

2008-01-17T06:03:00.000-08:00

this is wat globel warming is!!!!!!!!!!!

the awosemes party ever!!!!!!

2008-01-16T10:37:00.000-08:00

so great we(me,eliqan coz mein) threw a big bash for our farewell !!!! n some of u bloger's maight know it...........well i can say it ROCKED n we all got piss drunk(konony) well we did not get drunk but after the party najeem did (FIREWORK'S) again everybody got piss mad at him as(usuall) so great we had some cry's i mean by (eliqa) ................ still i can say the party ROCKED THE HOUSE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-01-15T04:40:00.000-08:00

So hey again,

this is my second sis eliqa u will find her blog as (angeliqashaza.blogspot.com) ........... great so u will say im related to her but we r so totaly different !!!! ex: she like's red apple i like green.... i know it's not inportent but u know to tell u i kinda follow her everywhere u know wat i mean im 11 i kinda get scared but she is not there like i had a nitemare n she was like go bac to sleep (grrmmm) !!!!!!!!!

im goin to dubai

2008-01-14T03:11:00.000-08:00

so hey again,

i am going to dubai for 5 years but i wont 4get my close frens...........
but i'll come bac soon ....... i promise

i will miss u guys (amira,nicole,umar,ajrun,n all u 5 c's

2008-01-14T02:40:00.000-08:00

this is me

hey there,

im elli renatta n im 11 dis year class of ( 2008 ) ...........

so hey there im like the lil sis of eliqa shaza i think u maight know her....

so the world without me is my blog were i express myself of who i am ....(that sounds weird but who the hell cares rite)ha ha ha